WHO AM I?
I am Stuart.
posted by Stu-man @ 12:05 PM
160 comments
Stu's World
Words of Wisdom. SPCA: Stuart Phyfer Conquers All.
Friday, June 17, 2005
About Me
- Name: Stu-man
- Location: Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa
SIMPLETON, SELF ACTUALISED, OLD SCHOOL SANTA CLAUSE
Previous Posts
160 Comments:
Bru!
Welcome to the world of BLOGGING.
You truly are a legend. NOW share it with the world.
SPCA/SAUR Unite!
Mwahahahahahahahahaha!
Hey dude!
The message got through alright!
I'll change your fave movie accordingly! : )
Wow - mind blowing stuff here alright ;)
Hopefully there's good things to come and Smashing Pumpkins is one of my fave too, Twinks
So, do I hear your roar...?
S.A.U.R
SORRY PAPA
TIME THATS WHAT I MOSTLY NEED.
IF US SHADOWS HAVE OFFENDED THINK BUT THIS AND ALL IS MENDED, YOU BUT SLUMBERED HERE WHILST THESE VISIONS DID APEAR
Midsummers Night Dream won't get you out of posting here!
Dont think. Just DO!
: ) Voorspoed.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY:
I soooooo want a DEBONAIRS DUNKER right now.
And why? Because you dont get Debonairs in the UK. And this is the First World? I have my doubts. The inhumanity of it all.
GOOD JOB WITH THE ASSESSMENT
DEBONAIRS HAS RUN ITS COURSE WITH ME BUT YOU GOTTA TRY THEIR DOUBLE STACK PIZZA: TWO STANDARD BASES ROLLED TO LARGE WITH CREAM CHEESE IN THE MIDDLE
REAL GOOD, REAL GOOD
DUDE IVE BEEN CONSIDERING THIS WHOLE MOVE THING AND WE SHOULD DO IT
IVE BEEN SPENDING SOME TIME LOOKING AT PLACES AND THERE'S SOME DECENT OLDER JOINTS (SIZE MUCH BIGGER THAN THE NEW APARTMENTS) AROUND FOR AROUND 2400
WE COULD BE THE ENVY OF THE LOCALS
"BRAAI'S SOCIALS AND GET TOGETHERS"
I KNOW YOU WANNA
SOUNDS GOOD bru!
R2400 each?
COMBINED R2400
Sounds GREAT. Magic.
Charlies Angels? Pffft.
seriously
you look like the guy who is ever so shy (boss man)
dude i still dont know how to post a blog so you're top ten rank does'nt count (yet)
P s will be starting the gyming again from monday, ill be waiting.....
Whateva dude.
My gym has started again too.
Top Ten se moer. Ek soek Nommer EEN.
12 weeks!
I ENJOY THE DIVERSE BACKGROUNDS YOU CAN TAP INTO REGARDING ALL THIS BLOGGING
BUT ALAS,I REALLY DONT HAVE THE TIME FOR POSTINGS DUDE
ILL JUST KEEP THIS AS A GATEWAY TO CONVERSE
MIMI'S PRETTY HARD CORE
DEFINATELY SECOND ON MY LIST OF READS. YOU TWO SHOULD LIASE
ESPECIALLY ON THE POLITICAL FRONT
what an exciting introduction. i can hardly wait.
See?
Now you have MORE publics.
You owe it to the world buddy...
SPCA and SAUR unite!!
As for Mimi, I'd never be able to keep up...
MORE LIKE PASSERS BY
FIRST EDITION WILL OCCURE SHORTLY
LETS SEE
I think what is scary is someone thought Jean Claude Van Damme could act and gave him the opportunity to make "European guy gets treated like shit so enters fighting contest and beats everyone with his eyes closed" numbers 1 through 17.
Aaaand, people paid to watch.
STU: See? Now you got Megan involved- and she is a person that EXPECTS results. You HAVE to start posting. Soon. Dont let her down.
Oh, and GUY IN UNLV JACKET says I should stay the hell out of South Africa and stay in Europe where I belong. What do you think?
Its on FIFO for free I think.
I WILL NEVER POST "BO HA HA , BO HA HA"
you know you want to get sucked in to this ;)
Chicken
I TRIED YESTERDAY BUT UNFORTUNATELY I CANT SEEM TO GET ANYTHING POSTED
Pfffft. Weak excuse buddy.
DANKIE VIR DIE BOODSKAP OP DAAI ANDER BLOG. EK WAARDEUR DIT BRU.
NEGE WEKE OM TE GAAN!!
Cheers China,
GO AMA BOKKE BOKKE!!!
2005 Mandela Cup winners!!
South Africa 33 Australia 20
C'MON TRI-NATIONS!!
Hey Stu...Thanks for the info..cant wait to hear more bout your bru...In 9 weeks I want pics sent to me too..Please :)
HEY BUDDY!!
What a start to the Tri Nations, huh?
We better beat the Kiwis in Cape Town. Ill never take my rugby shirt off ever again if we do.
EIGHT WEEKS
Rugbys looking good China!!
Half time and we lead by 3. (16-13)
HOLD THUMBS- we may just make it to number two in the world rankings...
GO BOKKE!!!
22-16 (FULL TIME)!!!
WE WON!!WE WON!!
GO BOKKE!!!!
SEVEN WEEKS buddy.
Caprice here we come!!
Wow...Some really entertaining stuff on this blog...I'm surprised it hasn't been spammed yet...I could so see the spammers "yes I agree with this post. Neato like your blog. Come see my penis enlarging cream which will definately help with your lack of stamina for posting. It's on my penis enlarging cream blog, which is mostly about penis enlarging cream related stuff."
:)
Kia Ora from a Kiwi blogger down under in New Zealand
Stuart - Are uou Stu(pid)art ???
Adrian T - You just won (we have got bigger "legs" thats why - a lot more to carry !!!)
Bokke - "Break a leg"
Bye - I'll go visit Myssa.
have a good-one everybody (Hehe) from a Krazy blogger down under in NZ
MYSSA: LMAO!! : )
KELVIN: You guys just better beat those Aussies tomorrow. Worry about the mighty BOKS another day...
GOOD LUCK FOR THE TRI NATIONS, if its not us that take it, I PRAY its you guys.
KELVIN: Well done Kelvin, you guys did well. You injured the Aussies for our encounter next week...
See you in Dunedin.
hehe Kelvin - I'm not sure you visited my blog - and if you were, you were surely disappointed, as you found that it wasn't about penis enlarging cream at all (though I do have one that could be considered for "penis enlarging" only without the cream, it's not as prominently displayed...)
22-19 BUDDY!!!
Talk about snatching victory from the jaws of defeat!!
HOORAY!!
Please make us Tri-Nations champs Kelvin.
Hi Stu, I am Jenn. This post was very heart felt, intense, and it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing.
FIVE WEEKS BUDDY!!!
Now you stealing my Angels?
I thought we were best friends... : )
Aww, Adrian. I'll always be your angel! It was after-all my idea. ;)
HEY SHOW SOME RESPECT HERE
THIS IS'NT A SINGLES BAR
THANKS FOR THE VISIT JEN IM GLAD SOMEBODY FINALY APPRECIATES ALL THE EFFORT I PUT IN MAKING THIS BLOG WORK.
It's a singles' bar?
I'll take a Sex on the beach please!
(or is it NEAR the beach?)
Nice stuff! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
Visit my blog, I'm selling ceiling fans and all sorts of shitty stuff you don't need.
STU, you KNOW youve brought out this quality in women your whole life, and yet when you get some of it on your blog, you complain?
Tsk Tsk.
Use the force wisely my son, the school break of 1998 record needs to be matched and/or broken!!
Surely you're kidding!
Clarification needed.
STU: What was the record? 28 women in 21 days?
Stu, I do appreciate your effort. I don't think it should go un-noticed.
I love Sex On The Beach! It's what I drink just about EVERY time I'm out, perverts.
JENN: I agree.
Stu puts his life and soul into this blog, its a pity that it goes largely unnoticed on the blogosphere.
You love WHAT???!! Oh- the drink. Riiiiiiight. : )
SIX WEEKS STU MAN. BOOK ME A SEAT AT CAPRICE SO I CAN SEE THE BEACH AND TABLE MOUNTAIN WHILE I DRINK A WELL-DESERVED WINDHOEK LAGER.
Jys die MAIN KOENYN, hoor...
I think I'm gonna make picket signs and put out front of my yard. They will have this URL and encourage people to come here if they want to be enthralled such as I with the Stu-Man.
AMEN SISTA
ITS ABOUT TIME I GET SOME ATTENTION HERE !
AID WE NEED TO CHAT
ITS REALLY SERIOUS ILL GIVE YOU A CALL LATER TODAY
AROUND NINE
DUDE- IM AT WORK UNTIL 22.15 (23.15 in SA)
What's really sad is that I have this blog bookmarked even...and check back to see if it's been updated again, on a semi-regular basis...
*sigh*
I need a life. Stu, can you help me get a life? :)
MYSSA: Stu can make ANYTHING happen!!
Hahaha, Myssa! That's just great. I've become rather fond of the Stu Man's blog. I don't know why, though. I just can't put my finger on it. But, whatever the reason, it has us both here!
LADIES: Its cos the Stu Man is a legend.
Brackenfell's own lil hero. : )
I just can't get enough, Jenn...
It's like a dessert buffet...You could just go for the one bowl of ice cream with all the toppings...But then, you'd be missing out on the pie, the cake and the cookies...
Hey Stu..Sorry to hear the news. I hope your doing ok..Ill be thinking good thoughts for ya. Im sending something to you in Ads birthday package when he gets home in October...so ask him about it. Take care : )
I reiterate what Jen said buddy.
STERKTE VIR DIE TOEKOMS- EK IS BAIE JAMMER OM TE HOOR VAN DIE FEIT DAT U JOU WERK VERLORR HET.
VOORSPOED MET DIE SOEK VIR NUWE WERK, MAAR HOPELIK NEEM DIT SO KLEIN BIETJIE MEER TYD EN DIT BETEKEN MEER TYD SAAM BY DIE STRAND EN N RUSTIGE SOMER NET SOOS HOERSKOOL!!
PRAAT BINNEKORT WEER MET JOU BRU.
ADRIAN.
Err it sounds too serious for me to throw in a smartass comment. So I'll just say whatever it is, I hope it works out for you for the best! :)
Yep- the man truly is a legend.
Back on his feet within two weeks!!
I SALUTE YOU DUDE!
Hmmm.
Well, glad to hear he's back on his feet, though from what will remain a mystery! Congrats on the back-on-the-feet thing stu! :)
THANK YOU ALL FOR THE KIND WORDS
IM FEELING REALLY SPECIAL ROUND ABOUT NOW
IM BACK ON THE PAGE
SO LETS CHAT . . . .
Welcome back Stu...
Hey Stu
Glad to hear things are going better for you now. Welcome back.
Hey I just realized your one-post wonder was born on the same day as my nephew. Congratulations. :P
HI STU! Missed you!
JEN THANKS FOR THE GIFT YOU REALLY ARE A SWEET ONE (LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING YOU SHORTLY)
LADIES THANK YOU
ADRIAN ADORES YOU THREE AND I MUST AGREE THAT OF ALL THE INDIVIDUALS IVE ENCOUNTERED YOU GUYS ARE THE "CREME" OF THE "CREME"
ITS FUNNY HOW MUCH YOU REVEAL OF YOURSELFS IN YOUR POSTS.... (THATS PROBABLY WHY I STICK TO THE SINGLE ONE)
AID I ADRESSED MY MANAGER ABOUT YOUR AWAITED RETURN AND HAVE ARRANGED A PARTNERSHIP WITH MYSELF ON A GOVERNMENT/ FINANCIAL PUBLICATION (IF YOU INTERESTED)
GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE LARGE SOMES OF CASH AND YOU HAVE FULL CONTROLL OVER THE COPY WRITERS AND EDITORIAL. (MAYBE YOU COULD ASSIST ME IN MY NEMISIS......SPELLING)
LET ME KNOW IF YOU KEEP AND ILL SET UP A INFORMAL INTERVIEW WHEN YOU RETURN
STU!!!
SOUNDS GOOD BUDDY!!!
LETS DO IT!!
Wow Adrian and Stu -- sounds like quite an operation! Good luck with the new job and safe journies when the time comes!
Stu - oops, nearly typed stud, though I guess that sounds like it applies too - you are a great friend for doing such things for him! :)
i thought your blog was cool and i think you may like this cool Website. now just Click Here
Wow...Your first spammage! Our little Stu's blog is growing up so fast!!!
I agree with Myssa, it only seems like yesterday he was getting his first comment..And now..spam..I think Im tearing up : )
Awwwwwww.... me too guys! (I cry on the inside)
Stu my brother from another Mother, although YOUR mother is the second in line to my mothers throne, so is it really another mother?
Hmmmmm... oh, the conundrums we find ourselves in.
And the worst part is, I wrote this while I was sobre. DOH!
STU YOU ARE A LEGEND BUDDY.
Eish.
GREAT spelling? SOBER.
Haha, Adrian, obviously you WERE sobre! ;)
Stu, this place really is growing. It's amazing what you've done with it. The template is stunning. The posts are better than ever and I find myself addicted.
I can't wait to see what I find tomorrow!
Hope all is well in the world of Stu!
JUST DANDY JENN
IM THINKING OF POSTING A SECOND SOON THE CAPTION WILL READ "CONTINUED" WHAT DO YOU THINK ?
MYSSA I WAS PERUSALING THROUGH YOUR BLOG AND DISCOVERED YOU ARE INTO NUDE PHOTOGRAPHY? ? ?
IS THAT ONE JUST FOR KICKS OR ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT ZOOMING IN ON MY HAIRY ASS IS A ART ?
I think that's a great idea! Too funny.
Hmm, you said "hairy ass" and I automatically think of MRV. It's sad, really. Just ask Adrian.
hehehehe.
Well, it could be either! ;) Of course, my ass is not hairy, and rarely do you ever find a *closeup* of my ass to begin with...
I'm an exhibitionist. I have pictures out there on an amateur nude/erotic photography site (non-explicit), and I occasionally do web-cam shows.
I don't have that blog on the "official list" on this site - so it doesn't show in my profile or on "next blog", but it is listed on my blog roll as my "VW updates/pics blog".
I think you should most definately give us a "continuation"...It's just the *right* thing to do! It'll be difficult to follow up to the original post, as it is amazing, but even "Meet the Parents" had an even better sequel than the original, so it is possible! :)
STU: Tell us the story of the SUPER mole, or the story of Unity and the vampire girl, or the silver uno meets feather boa... : )
YOU OWE IT TO YOUR PUBLIC!!
JENN: We cant just go blatantly bringing visuals of MrV's ass to everybodys mind over here...
WHAT WOULD THE KIDS SAY!! : )
Kids? there are kids here? Yipes!
I didn't even think about that! I really didn't. But I couldn't help it.
I wanna hear the stories too, Stu. I am after all a part of your public. ;)
Good idea Adrian...
STU..
PLEASE...Tell the one about the Feather Boa...thats my favorite! I have always been curious as to what really happened to those seat belts...lol
Jenn and Myssa will love this one: )
Oh oh Story time!!!! :)
I've just had my nap and snack, so I'm allllll ready for story time! :)
If he DOES tell the story, make sure the kids are all tucked away ladies.
It could get raunchy in here.
STU! The floor is yours...
(NO PRESSURE) : )
I got my blankey and I'm all ears!
All together now:
Stu-tie! Stu-tie! Stu-tie!
Well, I don't have any kids, so I'm good. Just make sure it's before November that he tells the story, as by then I will be baby-sitting a kid for a week and a half.
Right...Chanting..
Stu-tie! Stu-tie! Stu-tie!
Stu-tie! Stu-tie! Stu-tie!
Adrian, bust out the Kettle corn. Jen, Myssa, you wanna share some of my blankey?
Stu-tie! Stu-tie! Stu-tie!
RIGHT
HOW ABOUT THE ONE WHERE I FELL ASLEEP OR HOW ABOUT ONE THAT ADRIAN DOES'NT KNOW ABOUT......
MY AUNTS FRIEND TRYING TO SEDUCE ME !
I THINK ADRIAN SHOULD BE THE ONE INFORMING (HE'S A MUCH BETTER STORY TELLER)
LETS SHE HOW MUCH YOU REALLY REMEMBER !
Almost one week to go buddy.
COUNTING THE DAYS!!
HEY THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE FIRST TIME I CATCH YOU POSTING THE SAME TIME AS ME !
OK dude:
Im afraid I was not present during the Aunts friend stage, nor was I present during "falling asleep on the job" incident at Rompies.
However, I DO remember the carnage that resulted from the boa and the belt way back in '99...
And I DO also remember the couch in Unity and the "vampire girl"
However, as this is too early in the day for sexual content, we shall focus on the day we attacked a mole:
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a town. This town was called Brackenfell, or as it is fondly known as to some strawberry blond residents: BrackenHELL.
And in this town there is the greatest academic institution known to man. Namely, the Hoerskool Brackenfell. (thats Brackenfell High to the rest of you)
Amazingly enough, this fine academic institution was within walking distance of my home and many a wonderful sunny morning walk to this place was spent with Stuart debating the relevance of Smashing Pumpkins and Oasis vs... well their relevance was superior to everything so there was no debate dammit!
Anyhoo, to make this trip a bit more exciting, the local traffic police college was our trespassing area of choice each morning.
However, instead of having guard dogs, they had MOLES. Now I know what you are thinking. Moles are friendly creatures, blind (short sighted maybe?) creatures that have no grudge against mankind, right? WRONG. This mole was HUGE.
It made the Bulgarian womens weight lifting team look like midgets (*ahem* little people).
But Stuart was brave. Stuart came from a long line of legendary "protectors of the people" (a South African secret society of superior intellect and strength that exists to this day- just read dammit).
He bravely confronted this "Demon Digger of Earth" and "Protector of Traffic College Property" like a knight ready to slay a dragon.
Except in this instance, there was no damsel, just a chubby muppet called Adrian. And I wasnt up for grabs. (Had to clear that up- the relatives might be reading and Im still not married)
Back to the story. The mole didnt even see Stuart coming. He ran at it, and gave it the kick of a lifetime, sent it flying. I thought it would never land again, and we chuckled at how easily we disabled the local security. Then we heard t: the *thud*.
We stopped laughing and slowly turned around (camera zoom in on characters shocked and now pale faces). The mole had returned to earth after leaving the Earths atmosphere and even though its fur was singed and smoking, it remained VERY much alive and had been claimed by American astronauts. (It had a flag on its back)
I could see its eyes. BIG and yellow like the sun and with the fire of rage burning within them quite easily matching that of Alpha Centauri...
He shook himself off like a wt dog. Then charged at us like a wild bull. Stu went left, I screamed like a girl and went right.
When I turned around I saw that Stuart had managed to outflank our bovine-like terrestrial predator. (Despite being alone).
He ran up behind it and the mole managed to get only one good look at Stuarts finely crafted Toughees before getting itself booted further than a rugby ball at a final played at Loftus between Province and the Blue Bulls. (Prrrrrrrrrrooooooovvinnnncceeee)
I could still hear the mole screaming as a white puff in the sky signalled where it had once again ventured into space.
We then ran across the road in a vain attempt to outrun the mole when we heard the single mammal stampede charge behind us...
We gulped in unison. We had nowhere else to go, except to school, so we turned (reluctantly- this was no ordinary mole) to face our adversary one more time.
(OK, Stu did, I held my suitcase up against my chest and prayed that I would be buried with what little I owned)
The mole was still running, charging at us, mimicking our every directional change (they arent blind I SWEAR!!) increasing in pace as it did. It made it to the pavement, to the road, to the white line, it was nearing the opposite pavement when all of a sudden:
* SPLAT!!!!!*
Good bye mole.
And Stuart has been my best friend and guardian ever since.
TOMORROW: The story of Unity and the Wild Bronco.
Bravo! Bravo!
More! :)
And it's NEVER too early for sexual encounters, even of the auntie's friend's type...
Jenn - I'd share some of your blanket, but I'm afraid I'm a certified blanket hog, so I'll have to stick with just my own blankie -- don't want everyone mad at me before the big story events! :)
LOL Im sorry I still cant believe you were chased...As many times as I hear that story..I can see Stu kicking it...and it going into orbit...but comeing back down in some rabid rage and chasing you... Adrian...are you sure?
I do what some Kettle Corn...good idea Jenn...
Ok tell the next one..I will be patient..I still want to hear about the feather boa... : )
I'll post pics of a feather boa, if that will help get the story out... :P
Ahhh, Unity. The best club in the Western Cape and weekend home of the respective SPCA/SAUR unions for the entire duration of 1999 and sporadic weekends of 2000-2000.
It was here that many an illegal substance was abused (and I will neither confirm nor deny that anybody I know or that even I personally dabbled in or made a habit of taking these above-mentioned narcotics) within the confines of this former liqour store/warehouse.
(DAMN that was a long sentence)
Back to Unity. The music was great, the people were HOT (how I got in, I dunno- cool by association I guess: thanks Stu) and the best part was that they were FRIENDLY (ectasy? Pfffft- never!!) : )
It was also the place where attracrive girls would line up to give you massages, (although strange homo/heterosexual men would too) and blow Tiger balm in your face. I declined the former, but sometimes they (those homo/heterosexual men) sneaked up on you with those damn head massage thingies. And it felt REAAAAAAAALL good. : )
But for me, the best part was the staircase. At least ten flights of stairs would have to be hiked before actual entry into the club. I remember on one occassion I even witnessed an illegal (that is, a non mafia sanctioned) dealer being chased down these stairs before being beaten to a bloodied pulp and hauled away by some paid off cops.
(Cape Town Tourism Discalimer: Adrian is a LIAR. A Lying Liar)
Yet the feeling of earning and burning your way into the club only heightened the ecstacy of the experience. Ectsacy??
Speaking of which, a "friend" I know, when indulging in the forbidden fruits of narcotics, (for the first time), ALSO just happend to try it next to an undercover policeman. Naturally, the cop saved his BIG speech for when the "friend" was experiencing the peak of his "high" and this totally freaked him out. BIG time. And so he told his friends who were also "rushing" their faces off and this freaked them out too.
It was the FUNNIEST STUFF Ive ever seen in my life. A bunch of drug induced panic attacks and then goofed out expressions that followed soon after.
Anyways, this place (Unity) had several "chill" rooms. One for VIPs (who always had beautiful half naked woman around them) and another one, further away and well seperated, for the plebs. Im sure there was yet another, but I only spent time in the one with and for the plebs.
The best part about this room was the couch. The red couch. The couch made from the sexiest material in the world. (Did I just call material sexy?? Eish)
This couch was the scene of many a funny moment. I remember sitting on this couch and watching a "friend" of mine trace the walls of the room searching for the cable to the televison, failing to realise that the "screen" was actually a projection. He spent literally HOURS searching for the cable that didnt exist. And he couldnt figure out how the image was there when there was no cable.
On another occasion I saw yet another "friend" take so many pills that he went as stiff as a board and seized up, his jaw clenched and I was convinced he was going to die. People just massaged him until he stoppped his seizure but his jaw remained locked for the rest of the evening. This became his trademark. People sat on top of him and made out, because he couldnt move. I think deep down inside that turned him on. And that could have led to what happened to him when he turned 21... but thats another story altogether.
Speaking of making out, I had been dancing like a white boy (no rhythm no style- yet remained CONVINCED I had amazed people) for many hours when I finally realised I had no energy, and headed for the plebs chill room.
I lloked for my beloved couch, my source of entertainment and I smiled when I realised that it had not let me down. Nor had it let STUART down. Far from it.
For on the couch (calm down Dr Phil- this isnt for you) was my good friend Stuart. And on top of HIM was an amazingly beautiful girl writhing and thrusting, yes, riding him like a wild bronco.
It was dark and hard to see, but one thing I could DEFINITELY see was Stuarts BIG smile, which was clear to see simply by the reflection of the strobe light off of his sparkiling white teeth. The girl was going ballistic on him. His pants were unzipped and she was having a good time.
*NOTE*: Stuart is an avid reader. One of Stuarts favourite authors is Ann Rice (apologies if I spelled her name incorrectly). Ann Rice (again) writes stuff about vampires. Stuart is an avid reader and had been reading about vampires. (Had to reinforce that idea- pay attention it is relevant to the story, OK?)
Anyhoo, this girl was enjoying my good friends "lap" and making a good go of it, and in the moment of ecstacy (that word again) started to let her tongue and mouth, find Stuarts neck. I assume there was a bit of teeth involved there too- cos
STUART HAD BEEN READING ABOUT VAMPIRES.
Stuart had and still has a very active imagination too. And we all know what that meant:
Vampires= neck biting predators
Couch girl= sucking (biting?) neck
RESULT: Couch girl gets flung halfway across the room as Stuart has a freakout of epic proportions!!
I have never laughed so hard all my life. But the best part has to eb the way she tried to get close to him and he kept running away in fear for the rest of the evening.
Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your take on this story) the girl had Stuarts number and they did manage to hook up a couple of times afterwards, but it never had quite the same effect on me psychologically as that night at Unity.
In fact, Stuart had many women before getting tied down to the one he loves. One such girl decided had a particular fondness for feather boas and "talking"...
NEXT TIME: Feather Boa girl and the Fiat Uno Fire.
(Adrians version of events)
Oooh but neck nibbling, just the little tiniest bit, is yummy :) hehehe. Can't run from the neck nibbles!
The way I hear it..Stu..has this almost chemical something that draws women to him like static cling. I hear its quite legendary.
SEVEN DAYS TO GO DUDE!!!
SIX DAYS BLIKSEM. : )
Adrian
And on the SEVENTH DAY your sitting at a table at Caprice, with Stu and the rest of the crew...sipping a cold one looking at your mountain..and wishing...it were April : )
(maybe)
Nope no "wishing it was april"
his all mine (bo ha ha , bo ha ha)
aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh fond memories eid
Thank God its over though !
Nope no "wishing it was april"
his all mine (bo ha ha , bo ha ha)
aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh fond memories eid
Thank God its over though !
STU MAN: When you run home to Susan at the end of every day, Ill be solo again- thus the need for April.
PLUS the beer and starry nights as the posse discuss the meaning of life and recite memories of your embarrassing and legendary memories, Jen will make GREAT company. : )
Speaking of memories- OVER?
Theyre only about to start buddy!!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!
COMING SOON:
Feather Boa girl story
FIVE DAYS BUDDY
(This is like Thunderbirds, huh?)
Stu-man
Heeeeeyyy Now! I wasnt being greedy..I just want him when your not busy with him. You have to have some time with Susan eventually right?
Besides You and Aid owe me a braai and beer : )
THE BRAAI IS DEFINATELY A GO. EID ILL MAKE YOU A BANANA SALAD AND SOME SHEEP !(JUST KIDDING)
BRING IT ON DUDE!!
Heck, I miss the braai-culture so much Ill even eat sheep. besides, that lamb you made, being the culinary genius that you are, tasted REAL good the last time.
I didnt have to puke afterwards. Thats a first.
FOUR MORE DAYS!!!
FEATHER BOA GIRL STORY
It was the summer of 1999 and it was a weekend. I cant remember who it was, but somebody came up with the reeeeeeeeeaaaaaly original idea to go to Unity that Saturday night.
With some reluctance (yeah right) I decided that I would accompany the posse to the club and indulge in recreational activities.
When we finally got into Cape Town city, the queue for Unity were long and the bouncers were HUGE.
Being seventeen at the time, my heart would always start beating that little bit quicker with worry whenever there was a queue. This was because if they looked at my ID and saw I was under age, that meant I was spending my Saturday night in the car- SLEEPING.
NO THANKS.
Luckily enough, I never had any such problems in all the times I attended the festivities at the Club.
Anyway, we eventually managed to get inside the Club and as per usual, set about finding a spot in the Chill Room and staking out the dance area.
As the evening progressed, Stuart being the ladies man that he was (and still is) naturally got a lot of attention. However, only one lil lady managed to snare him for the evening.
And once again the red velvet couch brought many happy memories. But pretty soon, the couple wanted to go outside for a "chat".
This is the point where Stuart hatched his evil plan. He walked up to my brother and told him he had forgotten something in the car. He asked if he could borrow his car keys to go back downstairs and get it (I think he should have said get some, to be honest, but bygones).
What should have taken minutes (he was only going down to the car to retrieve something wasnt he??) ended up taking hours.
Nobody saw Stuart for most of the evening, up until ten minutes before going home. We all went downstairs, bundled into the car and then drove back to the civilisation of the Northern Suburbs. Nobody said a word- we were all too tired.
Next morning, I am woken by the sound of my brother shouting out in anger, something about his car. I put on some clothes and wander outside to see whats up.
Theres my brother, rear door of the car open, the seat covered in blue feathers and holding a badly frayed/melted seatbelt in his hand. I could tell he was REALLY upset. So I start thinking back as to what could have possibly happened.
Then it clicks. CLICK:
Wasnt Stuart with a girl on the couch last night?
Wasnt the girl wearing a blue feather boa?
Didnt Stuart ask for the car keys off my brother?
Didnt Stuart disappear with the girl for HOURS?
Couldnt friction induced by lust somehow cause heat that could melt seatbelts?
What the fudge was that stain above the seats?
I was shocked.
My brother must have thought the same thing, because we looked at each other with eyes as big as saucers and said in Unison:
STUART!!!
Naturally Stuart denied everything (brilliant defence deny deny deny- try it sometime. It works!), and said all they did was "chat". And besides, she was in the front seat and he was in the back...
Pfffffft. Yeah right dude. You think you got away with it-
BUT I KNOW BETTER
Proud to be your buddy tho. : )
THREE MORE DAYS!!!
Adrian
Great Story! Im sure Stu would never do anything scandalous in the back seat of your brothers car...Im sure that was just an innocent misunderstanding...lol
Yea that sounds good...a mis- understanding...
Stu
I understand your need to discuss current events or the diverse markets of the World Economy...And Im quite sure thats all that happend in that car...The feathers were a result of some vandle who came along literally after you and your lady friend were gone, Im sure...BUT tell me..What do you think happend to those seat belts?..I mean if you were to just say...guess...what do you think happened there? : )
TWO MORE DAYS!!
ONE MORE DAY!!
Adrian
Hope you have a good flight home today. Be safe. Im happy that your finally going to be back in SA. Remember I want lots of pictures!
(video is good too) : )
Stu..You and Aid have fun on MY BIRTHDAY while your sitting at Caprice! lol : )
Adrian
Thanks for the Happy Birthday call. It meant alot. Im glad things are going well at home..You and Stu have fun.
Stu..
Thank you for the Happy Birthday wishes when Adrian phoned yesterday. It was very sweet of you. It sounds as though you both had a pretty good day. Sorry the weather sucked for Caprice. Adrian sounds really happy to be home. You guys take care : )
WOO HOO!!
The eagle has landed
Glad to be home, Jen your seat of honour at Caprice awaits....
SIEN JOU DAAR!
Adrian
YOU are a bad bad bad boy...punishment is forth comming. lol
Stu
Thank you so much for the comments you left me. Its a good idea too..I will see what I can work out on this end and see if I can get my "ass" there any sooner. Sorry if I didnt make much sense on the phone today..I wasnt expecting Aid to hand you the phone and the bad connection made it hard to hear what was being said. I do however want to know exactly what hes been saying..since he wont tell me details.. you can email me this info later. LOL
Are you trying to see how many people will respond to one post? This is incredible.. I can't wait to see what your next post is!!
HULABELLY IM SO GLAD YOU APRECIATE THE ART OF "ONE" POSTING ITS THE IN THANG EVERY BODIES DOING IT (CONTINUOUS POSTING IS SO LAST YEAR)
thanks for the visit !
HULABELLY IM SO GLAD YOU APRECIATE THE ART OF "ONE" POSTING ITS THE IN THANG EVERY BODIES DOING IT (CONTINUOUS POSTING IS SO LAST YEAR)
thanks for the visit !
SORRY GUYS IF IT SEEMS I ENJOY REPEATING MYSELF ITS REALLY JUST THE PACE OF MY SOUTH AFRICAN OFFICE PC
PLSE FORGIVE
Heh. The more comments the better! weeee.
*adds another obligatory comment to the count*
Stu
Comments Continued: I am sorry you are frustraited with this...Its not as simple as you make it sound. Its a matter of timing. Remember where your bru is...."Trimble Penitentiary". This is not a place for long term alien visitors. The situation isnt ready on that end yet.....or on this one..until it is....Ek varlang na jou on a blog is all I have. : (
I got a card in the mail today. Tell me..Does he really smell that good? ohhhh mannn : )
I do appreciate it... the conversation flows like we're all at a dinner table.. it's nice.. hmm would anyone like an Oreo cookie?
Mmmmh cookies!
I like cookies, but with oreos, I just like to lick the cream out of the center...Anyone want the cookie without the cream? :D
Hahaha, of course, now that reminds me...And I just have to share...
When my nephew had just turned one, we were hanging out at my sister's house and I was eating the cream from the oreos. I would then give the cookies to my nephew - he was eating them up like crazy. Then someone (grrr) gave him a WHOLE oreo - with the cream and everything. He liked it, and refused to take my icingless-oreos from me anymore. Twas a sad day for Auntie M indeed!
I ended up throwing the Oreos away M, coz I didn't want to eat the whole bag by myself.. poo
NOW THE OREO MC FLURRY IS ONE OF MY PERSONAL PASSIONS.
JEN DID ADRIAN SPRAY MALE FRAGRANCE ON THE CARD HE SENT YOU?
ILL HAVE TO ADDRESS THIS WITH HIM.
LADIES ANYONE FOR DESERT
The way of the future is OREO milkshakes at Starlite Diner.
Stu
Apparently he did..because the card smelled incredible.
Nah dont say anything to him. Because of me...Hes already getting enough questions that he cant answer.
I haven't been here in a while. It's getting rowdy up in here!
How's the Stu-man and Adrian doing in good ol' South Africa? (Yeah, I know. I say it like I was raised there. Hey, I'm pretty freakin' dark complected!)
JENN CONGRATS WITH THE ENGAGEMENT AND OF COURSE YOU DO KNOW THAT CIVILIZATION STARTED IN AFRICA THEREFOR WE ARE ALL RELATED !
COME HOME SIS
JEN WHAT QUESTIONS ARE THESE THAT HE IS STRUGGLING WITH...?
AID YOU DO KNOW THAT THE OREO MILKSHAKE IS SO "LAST MONTH" NOW THE CHOKO PEANUTBUTTER ONE IS THE SHIT !
Stu-man
I just think it bothers him that hes getting asked any at all..Or at least thats what it sounds like when I have talked to him..
You know Aid, he says..deny deny deny..and if that doesnt work..deny deny deny again until he believes it himself.
Oh, gee. Thanks Stu! Whom is it that I'm engaged to?
COME HOME SIS
Talk about putting a smile on a girls face.
Stu
I know your not going to read this right away. I just wanted to tell you thank you for what you said when we spoke today..It was very sweet. Have fun with your bru on the beach over the next couple of weeks. I wish I were there too : (
Dont worry about the "conspiricy" Adrian is making it sound worse than what it is..You will see..I sent you good things. lol Youre my friend...You know I have nothing but love for you : )
Woah I've missed way too much on the life and times of Stu & Adrian! No more hiatuseseses for me!
Stu and Adrian...
Stop peeking at the blog if your not going to respond to your faithful readers...lol
dammit, I shouldn't have logged on here.. now I want oreos!!
Hello everyone,
My name is Susan and I am not a fellow blogger, but I am the better and more attractive half of the legendary "Stu Man".
When I came to read his blog (if I am using the right terminology) I was very very disappointed to see that he hasn't mentioned anything about himself to you guys!
So, as the better half, I shall take on this enormous responsibility.
Here goes..
The “Stu Man” lives in a small town in Cape Town and has a life - long friend, Adrian (AT80). They spend ALL of their spare time together and are each other’s biggest fans (You have probably picked this up by now) – this is the one of the nicest things I’ve ever seen. It would be a strange life without Ad and Stu together.
Along with AT80’s brother and another old friend (we shall call him Sky Man) they make the Dude - Bru’s, which is their rock band. My man Stu on the guitar, Sky Man as the lead and AT80’s Bro as the drummer. AT80 is the Manager and I am the groupie (only to the Stu Man though).
When not playing a mean tune, the Stu Man surfs. (In Cape Town this is expected, if you don’t surf you’re just weird) He has only recently learnt how to surf though, so technically he was weird for the better part of his life, but I’ve been with him for all of eternity so therefore I can safely say that I love him regardless of his ‘weird’ status.
AT80, the Stu Man and I met in High School, along with all our other friends, which basically means that we know everybody’s business and for this reason would like to tell a certain “American Bombshell” (that’s you, Jen) that WE KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU – please come over real soon because I don’t think we can take the suspense anymore :)
I think that’s all I’ll tell you for now, don’t want to give too much away just yet.
Please feel free to aggressively ask him why he just doesn’t post anything.
LOL
Susan
SUSAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!
Welcome to Stu Mans world, on behalf of the Dude Brus!
One small correction though, I am unfortunately NOT the drummer for the Dude Brus... unless you count bongos (I have no rhythm). That legendary title is reserved for the Laz. I AM the promotional manager of the band!!
Hope to see you around here ALOT in the future Susan and Im sure Jen will be happy to her honourable mention!
Aww, Susan's post was thee cutest thing EVER! Thanks for sharing Susan. You're one lucky lady to have such awesome friends. And it sounds to me that they are just as lucky.
Adrian, she said your brother's the drummer and you're the manager. You see what happens when you've gone missing from the blog o' sphere? You lose sight of things! :P I just wish you and Jen would come back. Stu, too.
Adrian
Well Jenn is once again correct...(Go JENN!!)After reading Susans comments again..she did indeed say that YOUR BROTHER not YOU..was the drummer and you were the Manager. I think you better start kissing up to her (Susan) for the hard time you gave her about her mistake.LOL
Susan
Thank you so much for the sweet comments..it was very thoughtful of you..I can see why Adrian always speaks so highly of you. Stuart is a very lucky man. I have a feeling from the way he speaks of you..he already knows he is.
As far as aggressivly asking Stu about himself..Adrian cant even get him to hold still long enough to get a good photo of him..he keeps turning from the camera...although I do have a great video of him with that boa..I would be pleased to share with you if you want. :)
I think we have a better chance to learn more just taking to you..after all..look how long he has had "I AM STUART" as his one and only post. Still he has managed to get 146 comments on just that one..so I suppose that sort of speaks for itself.
I do miss his commentary though on my blog though so tell him I said HI and hope hes back soon.
PS...In case I forgot to say it Welcome to the blog world Susan!!!
Jenn
IM working on getting back to it...But thank you for all the kind words. You have been really great!
Love ya
IM SORRRRRRYY SUSAN!!!
Guess thats what you get for blogging on company time...
I hang my head in shame.
Forgive me?
: )
Love the New Years Eve pictures on Adrians Photo Blog..sorry I missed that party.
Hello Aid,
FINALLY, after all this time, I am back on the Stu - Man's blog!
Sorry for the delay!
No need to hang your head buddy, it's all good!
You have to tell the world about what happened in Cape Town yesterday - on Table Mountain!
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR BEAUTIFUL CITY DUDE!
Jen: ooooohhhh, Jen and Adrian, sittin' in a tree, k.i.s.s.i.n.g
I read over your blog, and i found it inquisitive, you may find My Blog interesting. So please Click Here To Read My Blog
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hm. this is clever. wish I'd thought of it.
Cheers.
Hey SUSAN!!
WELCOME BACK!!!
As far as Table Mountain is concerned- a WELSHMAN tried to burn down my mountain by tossing a (still burning) cigarette butt out of his car while chillaxing on the slopes.
Then the BASTARDS tried to drive away when he saw the kak he started.
So tourists: ALWAYS WELCOME- but try to burn down the mountain and youll find your ass in jail.
Oh, and CRAYFISH diving rocks.
STU MAN: I see you managed to find your password, huh? : )
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT
I know. I know.
It should have read BASTARD. A Welshman is singular.
Extra credit for detecting that faux pas myself.
Susan
Awwww Ive never been part of the kissing song before...But as long as Im paired up with Adrian...sing on girl : )
Adrian
Ek varlang na jou...The phone call yesterday sadly wasnt long enough.
Lief vir jou Adrian James.
Stu-man
Im not sure where you are...But I miss ya...hope your doing ok. Im sure Adrian would have said something if you werent ok..so I will just have to hope its just a busy happy life keeping you away.
PS I really like Susan..good job!!!!
Very informative blog. I found everything I needed here. I also have some good resources . Great content!
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Hey Stu.... Just thought Id stop by and say Hi and reminisce a bit about old times.
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